I have had my fair share of hookups, dating, and relationships. Most were much ado about nothing. Fortunately, perhaps unfortunately, two of my past relationships were anything but ordinary. In both instances, I believed that I had found my partner for life. When the relationships ended, I wondered how and when the air knocked from my lungs would return.
How does one regain their breath? How do we let go?
The thing I have learned about myself is that in order to heal, I have to be alone as I face the pain. As time passes, the pain doesn’t disappear. Rather it’s becomes a part of me. Like any other scar, it symbolizes a chapter in my life. With the right person, I will share the story behind the scar. I will reassure them that while it will always be there, it’s just another part of me. I am not ashamed of my scars. Without my past, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
It seems that for most people, breakups and divorces are merely moments of heartache and regret. And I’ll admit that more times than not, breakups seldom kept me down for long. In a blink of an eye, we move on to the next one. What’s the old saying, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new?”
I wonder. Do the people who jump from relationship to relationship have scars? Or do they walk around with wounds which never heal? Yet, this is the socially acceptable way to process a breakup and/or a divorce. As unhealthy as it seems to me, perhaps this is the way to let go. Or perhaps, there isn’t a wrong or right way to move on. Whether a person sprints or crawls, it’s the forward momentum that matters. After all, we all let go differently.
“Sometimes you’re going to have to let one person go a thousand different times, a thousand different ways, and there’s nothing pathetic or abnormal about that. You are human.” -Heidi Priebe
Sharing And Surviving 